I think that’s mostly fine, but you’ll have to cut down some parts of it to get it under 300 words (probably less detail on your spark).

Beginning:
-Grew up = NJ, outside NYC

Spark:
-Introduced to world of finance = HS
-Uncle’s Pharma company = taken private in a $2 billion LBO =
-Fascinated by transaction
-Grew very interested in learning what makes a great company / investment

-In college, involved in financial / entrepreneurial things
-Learned DCF modeling same time I was launching startup
-Began to take an interest in the world of earlier-stage tech companies / what makes them valuable

Growing Interest:
-Loved entrepreneurial experience, realized IB was the best place to begin my career
-analytical skills / caliber of people / doors opened = obvious choice
-fortunate to land internship / receive FT offer

-Banking = incredible experience, but from beginning, viewed more as stepping stone to a field like growth equity
-Tech / investing = true passions, see GE as the perfect intersection of those two things and a place where the skills I’ve learned in IB can be valuable

Then I will customize for the firm in question.

Great, thanks Brian! I do have 2-3 good ideas but I’ll take out that line since there’s really no need to lead with it.

Correct – no previous buyside internships.

Agree with your approach on talking about having done some investing on my own. I think I can also add in a line about in the into about how I wrote my senior thesis on investing – more from an academic perspective – but still displays an early interest.

I think your story is reasonably good, but you need to be pretty confident with your stock pitch ideas because you’re making your candidacy dependent on them.

So if you have 2-3 really good ideas backed up with solid evidence, sure, that story is fine.

I’m assuming you’re not referencing previous internships because they weren’t buy-side-related.

If that’s the case, your approach to reference your time in banking and how your interest in investing developed there makes sense.

I would still recommend trying to insert some kind of reference to investing before you get into the part about the Margin of Safety, even if it’s a stretch, because that way you’ll sound more consistent.

Maybe frame it as, “I did some investing before as well, and based on that, I got into a debate with the 2nd year analyst about whether individual investors could beat the market…”

No.

https://mergersandinquisitions.com/investment-banking-associate-exit-opportunities/

I would use your remaining time between now and when you start working to enter investment competitions, find healthcare stocks you like and trade them, or do something else finance-related. It’s not worth getting an internship at this stage, but activities like that (or the student investment club, etc.) could help you tell your story.

1. Beginning: Grew up in [xx]. Majored in [xx] and was a varsity athlete in sport [xx] at [xx]. Decided to go into banking because I was fascinated by how companies and investors made capital allocation decisions.

2. Spark: During my first year in banking, I had a number of debates regarding the merits of single-stock investing with a second year in my group. At the time, I argued that individual investors couldn’t outperform the market over the long-run on a risk-adjusted basis. After many debates, the second year asked me to read Margin of Safety and see if I still clung to the efficient market hypothesis after reading it.

3. Growing Interest: Read Margin of Safety and became enthralled with idea of value investing. I continued to read up on the subject, reading other books by famous value investors like Ben Graham, Howard Marks and Joel Greenblatt. I’ve continued to develop my interest by constantly searching for undervalued securities and would be happy to share my best ideas with you.

4. Why I’m Here Today/My Future: I’m here today because I want to become a great value investor and your firm is a great place to do so.

Thank you for the informative post – I am currently a senior at an Ivy majoring in biology, and I will be starting full-time in healthcare team at a BB. I was curious whether you have any specific advice for me since I literally had zero finance internship or school activities. Should I be playing the “nontraditional” “science” person who got interested in finance? Thanks.

You’ll have to be quite proactive if you’re at a middle-market bank. You can definitely win offers, but you’re right that recruiters won’t necessarily be reaching out to you.

So I would start by contacting friends and acquaintances at bigger banks and seeing if they can refer you to recruiters. Then, research some hedge funds that focus on the strategy you prefer, and begin reaching out yourself via LinkedIn (or just find the people on LinkedIn and email them by guessing the email format).

The good news is that you don’t have to be ready ASAP if you’re doing this type of recruiting. The frenzy that happens early on mostly applies to the PE mega-funds.